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I used to think long-time camp counselors had some of the best stories about human nature – until I became a caddie – and then met other caddies. 

Volumes have been written on and about Scottish and African-American caddies. If they’ve been on the job for any length of time those gentlemen have stories that could headline any comedy club.

My early loops were with high handicap players. I think those assignments were made by design, i.e. meant not to tax me or the patience of the members. Kudos to the caddie master for such insight. Those rounds tended to be pleasant and were an excellent training ground for more demanding fares. One that resonates well came on a Sunday afternoon when I was double bagging for a navy captain and his wife. As naive as I was I anticipated a pleasant outing for all of us.

However, as we descended the first fairway it appeared the captain was unhappy about something and he was willing to share his unhappiness with his wife and anyone within shouting distance. I’ll give him this, on the first hole he demonstrated an ability to hit driver and a long iron approach well. I’m not sure we admired his shots as much as he did, but he assured us we should. How great thou art, sir , I thought, but please stop telling us about it.

It is what occurred on the second hole, a par 4 426-yard masterpiece, that will remain in my memory until I pass underground. After two reasonably struck shots, the captain’s wife reached the vicinity of her husband’s drive. One hundred eighty-six yards away the captain announced what quadrant of the green would receive his ball. I stood four feet behind and twelve feet right of the captain who executed two manly practice swings and then loaded up for his peerless approach.

Downswing and power transfer commenced and produced a ball (I still don’t know how) that rose parallel to his 6’4” frame, hung for two seconds nose high and fell harmlessly into the new divot at his feet. It is undeniably one of the most comical sights I ever saw on a course. The three members in the outing cut loose with unbridled laughter. My fellow caddie and I swallowed hard and said nothing. I smile to this day thinking of the captain’s big swing. The captain’s fellow player’s were unmerciful in their teasing.

As a result, much of the captain’s bluster remained muffled for the rest of the match, except for some profanity-laced epithets. It was after that round I decided golf can be a humbling game.

Got any caddie tales you would like to share?

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